Week 9- Softies

When did we become so soft?

For several years now, there has been an increasing amount of studies and evidence to suggest that football players are susceptible to grave neurological disorders. This might, just might, have something to with the thousands of head crashing collisions they endure through a lifetime of football. The results can leave players in their later years with dementia, severe emotional distress, and a yearning to run for political office. Some esteemed writers (aka wimps) have even equated football to dog fighting.


This is completely a stretch. Dog fighting is nothing like football. If it was, Michael Vick would be a much better quarterback.

With the medical evidence increasing, some NFL veterans and medical doctors are crying out that players who suffer concussions should not be rushed back to playing. They claim that rattling the brain severe enough that it causes loss of consciousness is a “bad” thing. Look, I have suffered numerous concussions and I have had no ill effects. Look, I have suffered numerous concussions and I have had no ill effects. Look, I have suffered numerous concussions and I have had to ill effects.

But, I am happy to report that the NFL, and even college football, is not going to allow some minor concerns like players’ health stop them from fielding the best team possible to cover the spread. Time and again coaches and organizations ignore those pesky concussions and have their players walk it off. Of course, as they walk it off, they need another player with them so they don’t fall down.

This week Bryant Westbrook, just two weeks removed from a concussion that he admitted scared the hell out of him, is expected to play. Good. I have him on my fantasy team and I need all the help I can get. Granted, this might lead him to a life of staring blankly out windows, but damn it man, I need to qualify for the playoffs!

A few weeks ago, the great Tim Tebow suffered a concussion that knocked him out cold. Because Urban Meyer and the Florida staff really care about their players, they hemmed and hawed and made all kinds of public declarations that their concerns is the kid’s health. Also of concern, Florida was playing at LSU. Playing at LSU won out on the “concern-o-meter” and Tebow, who was just given medical permission to read a few days earlier, played in the game.

Tip of the cap to the Eagles and Gators, but none of them can top the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Super Bowl champs are showing the rest of the sissified world what it means to be a football team.

This case has nothing to do with head trauma, just literally life and death. Starting safety Ryan Clark has a very rare sickle-cell trait that leads to a life threatening situation if he exerts himself at high altitude. An example of this would be say, playing football at a mile above sea-level in a city such as…Denver. We know this because three years ago, Ryan Clark played a game in Denver and nearly died and needed emergency surgery to remove his spleen.

So, the Steelers are plating AT Denver this Monday Night. Ryan Clark’s status is still uncertain for the game. Yep, the fact he could die playing has only lead him to be listed as questionable. If Ryan Clark had any guts left after his operation to save his life, he would play. I commend the Steelers organization for taking the brave step of ignoring the medical condition of a single player in favor of consideration of the team as a whole.

I thank you on behalf of all people who are wagering cold hard cash on the Steelers covering the spread this Monday. See, football is nothing like dog fighting.

These are my dogs, err I mean, my picks for this week. (in bold)

Chiefs at Jaguars -6.5
Ravens at Bengals +2.5
Texans +9 at Colts
Redskins at Falcons -10
Packers -9.5 at Bucs
Cardinals at Bears -3
Dolphins +11 at Patriots
Panthers +13.5 at Saints
Lions at Seahawks -10
Titans at 49ers -4
Chargers at Giants -4.5
Cowboys at Eagles -3
Steelers at Broncos +3

Last Week 6-7
Season 60-55-1

Why I Don't Have a Ponytail

You think NFL and NHL players are rough. They got nothing on NCAA Women's soccer players. Actually specifically one player, Elizabeth Lambert of University of New Mexico.

Check out this video and tell me she could not fit in the Ravens' linebacking core or be an enforcer for the Calgary Flames.

This just in--- The Oakland Raiders just signed her and Tom Cable crapped his pants.

Week 8- Scary Thoughts

In honor of all hallows’ eve, here are the scariest things about each of this weekend's games along with my picks (in bold):

Denver +3.5 at Baltimore
At first it was the thought of the Broncos without Jay Culter, now it is the thought of the Broncos with Jay Cutler. Any doubt that Denver would be 1-5 with Jay throwing 11 picks already?

Browns at Bears -13.5
The crazy new reason Mangini will come up with to fine his players. I predict a $2000 fine for not tipping the water boy during timeouts.

Texans -3.5 at Bills
The idea that one or both of these teams is still a threat to make the playoffs. What will Buffalo do if they can’t fire Dick Jauron?

Vikings at Packers -3
Brett Favre will have a harder time getting out of Green Bay than Snake Plissken had getting out of New York City.

49ers at Colts -11.5
The thought of how many points the Colts would score if someone told Peyton Manning he could get another commercial if they hit 100.

Miami +3.5 at Jets
The thought for Jets fans and players that they might get beat again by a high school game plan.

Rams +4 at Lions
In this economy, the fact that some people actually paid money to watch this game.

Seahawks +9.5 at Cowboys
Being in the owner’s box with Jerry Jones either when Romo throws another pick 6 or when he gets his chemical peal facial.

Raiders at Chargers -16.5
The fright on the face of a Raiders receiver going across the middle to attempt to catch a Jamarcus Russell pass. Seriously, he might get someone decapitated.

Jaguars +3 at Titans
The serious possibility that if the Titans lose badly, Vince Young could go Carrie on the whole stadium.

Panthers +9 at Cardinals
For every Panther fan, the sight of Jake Delhomme dropping back to pass

Giants +2 at Eagles
Watching a guy in a Yankee hat trying to get out of the Philly Stadium with all his limbs.

Falcons +9.5 at Saints
For the Falcons, be very afraid of jumping to a 21 point 2nd quarter lead. It’s like the homecoming queen losing her virginity in a slasher pick. You know it’s going to end badly for her.

Hopefully it will not end badly for me. Coming off another, albeit slim, winning week.

Last Week 7-5-1
Season 54-48-1

Week 7- They Said What?

Often on this website and other sports related ones, we poke fun at the errors and mishaps of athletes. Heck, it follows our motto here, “It’s fun to make fun of someone before they make fun of us.” But why limit ourselves to just the players on the field. As was suggested by my friend, deejay. mr. m, the mishaps extend beyond the field and into the booth.

So to honor (and exploit) the foibles of the guys (and gals) calling sports, here is the top 5 clips of announcer screw ups caught on tape. Or I should say the top 5 I could get quality video of on You Tube.

Berman Blow Up
Before Christian Bale, there was this Chris Berman blow up over essentially the same thing, people walking in front of him while he is working. To be honest, I do the same thing at work when some interrupts my line of sight while I am playing minesweeper.


Marino Freak Out
Think he could just leave that fiery nature on the sideline when he retired. Nope. Marino does to a desk what he did to receivers that ran errant routes. I love Nick Buoniconti’s reaction. He was a linebacker and he’s still freaked.



Sports Announcer mishaps are an equal opportunity event.
Here are a couple of funny moments from two of ESPN female sideline reporters. It is the ultimate recognition of professional acceptance when you can be made fun for screwing up. A nickel for anyone who can guess what Rachel Nichols was doing right before this clip.






College Football Announcers say what we all feel.
I love football, but honestly there are some moments that make me question whether I love it a little too much. This announcer's comments probably hit a little too close to home to many a male football fan causing us to give that uncomfortable laugh – yeah that was funny… and true.




Finally, this is the all time standard bearer of on screen sports announcer meltdowns. The “Boom Goes the Dynamite” kid. It both hilarious and painful, because honestly, isn’t there a little bit of fear we could do the same thing. The good news is he eventually graduated and became a TV reporter.




Here are my picks for the week. Last week I was an even 7-7. I guarantee I will not go .500 this week. I can guarantee this because there are only 13 games. And I had some check my math.

My picks are in bold.

Chargers -5.5 at Chiefs
Colts -13 at Rams
Bears +1.5 at Bengals
Packers -7 at Browns
Vikings +4 at Steelers
Patriots +14.5 at Bucs (in London)
49ers +3 at Texans
Jets -6.5 at Raiders
Bills at Panthers -7.5
Saints -6.5 at Dolphins
Falcons +3.5 at Cowboys
Cardinals at Giants -7
Eagles -7 at Redskins

Last week: 7-7
Season 47-43