Sunday marks the second biggest holiday of this weekend- Boxing Day.
Up until 48 hours ago, I planned on honoring this day by dressing up like the former heavyweight boxer
Randall “Tex” Cobb and blocking jabs with my nose. However, it was just brought to my attention that Boxing Day is actually a day to honor our dedicated servants in the postal delivery field.
Good thing I learned this before I made a fool out of myself. Like last year when I dressed like
Alexis Arguello while a drugged up hobo played
Aaron Pryor and beat the crap out of me. Twice.
To properly honor the holiday, I have included in my picks the special packages the will be delivered to each game by the fine men and women of the postal service. This year has a token of my appreciation my postman will be receiving a pair of slightly used, partially blood stained, boxing trunks.
As usual, my picks for the losing side are in bold.
Lions at Dolphins -3.5
A sign that reads “Ford Field” to put over the stadium so the Fins feel like they are playing on the road.
Vikings +14 at
EaglesChains, ropes, pad locks, super glue and anything else necessary to keep Brett Favre from suiting up.
Redskins at Jaguars -6.5
A copy of "How to Make Friends and Influence People” delivered to the Shanahans
49ers +2.5 at
RamsA box of printed up playoff tickets for the winner of this game
Seahawks at Bucs -6.5
No doze for the Seahawks to keep them awake for 10am there time football game
Patriots -8 at
BillsA white flag for the Bills to flag after the third quarter
Jets at Bears -2.5
Video encryption software for certain personnel to keep certain videos private
Ravens -3.5 at
BrownsHigh quality paper for Eric Mangini to use to print out his resume
Titans at Chiefs -5
Scented candles for Coach Todd Haley to burn on the sidelines so maybe he can calm and not blow arteries over losing the coin toss.
Colts -2.5 at
RaidersBigger, stronger, cushier helmets for all the Colts receivers.
Texans -2.5 at
BroncosA copy of Colorado’s penal code for all the Bronco players. They have more
arrested players than wins this year.
Giants +3 at
PackersA game play that covers all 60 minutes of a game instead of the first 52 minutes.
Chargers at Bengals +8
Moving boxes for most of the players and coaching staff so they can get a head start on their “forced” relocation at the end of the season.
Saints at Falcons -2.5
A box full of R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the Falcons. Has there ever been a 12-2 team that has flown this far under the proverbial radar?
This week 1-1
Last Week 7-9
Year 119-102-5