Five Things that will happen in the Chargers/Raiders game tonight

1. By the third quarter, the game will be so bad that the NFL Network will cut away to the NHL Network.

2. Audience members will wet their pants when they get sight of Sebastian Jankowski coming toward them in 3-D.

3. Instead of the San Diego Chargers, the announcers will consistently refer to them as the “Underperforming Chargers.”

4. Al Davis will call down to the field demanding they put Fred Biletnikoff into the game.

5. Chargers will win 24-10.