Five Things that will happen in the Saints/Bears game tonight

1. The words “Star Caps” will be mentioned more times that “catch by Shockey.”

2. There will be at least three cutaways to some idiot in the stands with his shirt off.

3. There will be at least 5 cutaways to a cheerleader so bundled up you are not sure if it’s an attractive women or a person with severe case of Hypertrichosis. (Google it) Either way, most guys will be attracted.

4. If the Saints kicker or punter kicks it anywhere near Devin Hester, Sean Payton will remove from his sweatpants his league-issued Glock and shoot said kicker. It will be judged totally justifiable.

5. Since the Saints are allergic to both natural grass and scared to death to see their own breath, the Bears will win 31-20.