Friday, February 2, 2007

Super Bowl XLI

The Super Bowl is by far the most watched television event (sports or non-sports) every year. The reason is the same reason the NFL is the most popular sport in America…gambling. And let’s face it; the Super Bowl is well…um… the Super Bowl of gambling.

It’s not the millions that will be wagered on the game’s outcome that generates all the interest. The great thing about the Super Bowl is all the exotic “proposition” bets.

It started simple enough. Lines were offered on who would score first, win the coin toss, and fumble the most. Then it got exotic. Wagers were taken on when would the first TV timeout would occur, what the first penalty will be and whether Michael Jordan would outscore one of the teams.

Now it’s just gotten out of hand. Check this site for the shear volume of props being offered .

But I am one who believes that the envelope can always be pushed even further. There is never too much of a good thing. Here are some of the prop bets I wish I could wager on (and will probably be offered by your local casino/bookie for Super Bowl XLII)

Times Phil Simms refers to his Super Bowl experience (4)

Number of Phil Simms’ “Keys to the Game” that are actually a factor in the game (1)

Times Rex Grossman gets criticized for bad throw (28)

Times Peyton Manning gets excused for a bad throw (16)

Number of players who get arrested/go AWOL right before Sunday (2)

Number of commercials that show animals in silly costumes (6)

Number of gratuitous plugs for CBS shows (15)

Times the camera lingers on a close up of cheerleaders for a little too long, making you forget that you are about to watch large, sweaty men grope each. (7)

Times the camera shows Archie Manning pacing during the game (23)

Times the camera shows Eli Manning sleeping during the game (22)

Number of Bear’s fans shown who unintentionally look like George Wendt from “Da Bears” sketches (32)

Times Phil and Jim says that a team is doing exactly what they told them they were going to do. (4)
(By the way, why don’t they ever mention this BEFORE the game, when information like this would really be insightful, instead after the fact where it just looks like they are just making it up?)

Times I cry when they mention the game is in Dolphin Stadium which reminds me that the Fins are miles away from playing in this game (every time)

As for the outcome of the game, I have studied this long and hard. I’ve broken it down by position, by coaching, and by patterns in the barometric pressure and how is effects the flow of air around Tank Johnson’s concealed weapon (the game is in Miami, of course he’ll be packing). Here is my fearless prediction:

Chicago +7 and take the over 48 on the point total

Oh you want a score…how about
Indianapolis 31 Chicago 27

The truth is everyone, and I mean everyone, thinks the Colts are going to win. This more that anything scared me from taking the Colts. Heck, I want Peyton to win. I want him to win so people will stop calling him the next “Dan Marino”, and then only Dan Marino will be referred to as “Dan Marino.”

But when everybody thinks the same way, it’s just screaming for the opposite to happen (see Florida v. Ohio State). Devon Hester will return a kick for a TD, Grossman will make 2 big throws to keep them in it, but Vinatieri will kick a FG late in the 4th to ice the game.

Heck, you don’t even have to watch the game now. Instead, you can tune in to the World’s Strongest Man marathon on ESPN2. Just like football; it’ll satisfy your need to watch guys on steroids.