Wednesday, August 8, 2007



SAN FRANCISCO- August 8, 2007- (BTM News) And the answer to the trivia question is Tim Redding. That’s the pitcher who served up home run number 757 to Barry Lamar Bonds that made him the new home run king of all time. Bonds’ home run against the Washington Nationals gave him the record as he surpassed the hallowed 756 home run mark set by Barry Bonds in 2007. The previous record was held for nearly 22 hours, a period of time in which many writers and fans thought it would never be broken. But Bonds’ never shared that doubt and looked supremely confident as he strolled to the plate tonight to take his shot at history.

After crossing home plate and pointing towards the heavens, Bonds took the PA microphone and thanked all his fans, teammates and family for sticking with him through these past 1320 minutes as he tried to reach this milestone. He also thanked Greg A. for his “quiet, very, very quiet,” support. He also thanked twelve unnamed grand jury members for their indecision and lack of consensus. At the conclusion of his speech, a video message was played from none other than the man he just surpassed, Barry Bonds. A clearly moved Bonds listen intently as Bonds congratulated him on the great achievement that “required skill, longevity and determination …and flaxseed oil, plenty of good old fashioned flaxseed oil.”

Baseball commissioner Bud Selig was not in attendance at tonight’s game. When reached at his Milwaukee home, Mr. Selig replied he was really sorry he couldn’t make it, but this is the night he washes his hair. “As any guy will tell you, when you wash your hair, it’s just best stay home and curl up with a good book or Meg Ryan movie.”

It is anyone’s guess how long this record will last. Many fans and sports writers alike speculate that Alex Rodriguez, Albert Pujols or Barry Bonds will eventually pass the 757 home run mark.

Giants’ director of over-indulgent celebrations Gene Rackin told reporters, “as long as Barry has a chance to break this record, and as long as this team has nothing else to play for, we as an organization will plan to celebrate the hell of this thing every time he breaks it. What else have we got?”

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Oh heck, who are you kidding? Like Barry is going to give YOU an interview!