Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Phillies Win!

The Phillies have won game five of the World Series... according to Las Vegas Sports Books.

According to Nevada gaming regulations, a game that goes more than five innings but is stopped, must go back to the score of the last completed inning. So the 2-1 score after five innings counts and the books are paying off those people who bet the Phils.

If Tampa end up winning the game, Rays bettors will have suffered of the classic bad beat stories of all time.

Here's hoping Tampa wins it because there is nothing a gambler loves more than a good bad beat story, even more than winning.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Week 8- As the Spiral Spins

The most popular soap opera on TV (among the male demo of 18-35) is the riveting episodes of “The National Football League.” It’s got plenty of drama, violence, intrigue, sex...all of which occurs between Tuesday through Saturday. Sundays are actually becoming the boring part of football. Recent episodes had given us plenty of reasons to curl up on the couch, wrap our favorite team’s flannel blanket around us, sip a nice frothy beer, and down some nachos and cheese as we watch “As the Spiral Spins.”

This week’s shows gave us plenty to tear up over:

The scorned Brett Favre betrays his former lover and spills the beans to his BFF (a recently run out of town Matty Millen) about the Packers inadequacies in the red zone.

The boys in the Raven’s locker room get together after school and plot a diabolical plan to ruin the bitchy Hines Wards by trying to remove his head from his shoulders.

Mike Nolan gets the pink slip and Men’s Warehouse stock plummets.

The relationship of our favorite mismatched couple, Jerry Jones and Wade Phillips, is on rocky seas. Will Jerry find it in his heart to stay with the lovable Wade or will his wandering eye land on Jason Garret’s shiny new headset?

Tom Brady’s condition worsens as his knee surgery runs into complications and our heart skips a beat thinking that he’ll never grace the cover of GQ again. Rumor has it Bridget Moynahan will bust in the last minute and donate her ACL to save Tom’s career. Will he then accept their son into his life?

Will the bank repossess the house or the car first after I went 0-8 in the last two weeks of my dead solid lock picks? I wish this was more of a soap opera.

I can’t wait to see what the next week brings. In the meantime, I’ll catch up on the three episodes of NBA Live on my TiVo.

My picks are in bold.

Raiders at Ravens -7
Chargers -3.5 at Saints
Chiefs at Jets -13.5
Bills -2
at Dolphins
Bucs at Cowboys -2.5
Falcons +8.5 at Eagles
Rams at Patriots -7
Cardinals at Panthers -4
Redskins -7.5 at Lions
Browns at Jaguars -7
Giants +2.5 at Steelers
Seahawks at 49ers -5
Bengals at Texans -9.5
Colts +4
at Titans

Last Week 5-9
Season 50-50-2

Picks I probably should play but will anyway.
Falcons +8.5 over Eagles
Panthers -4 over Cards
Rams/Patriots under 43
Chargers -3.5 over Saints

Last week 0-4
Season 10-16-2

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Week 7- Regrouping

After an abysmal week 6, I am taking the bye week to install a new offense and looking to promote some players from the practice squad.

I am holding this special personal mini-camp in an uninhabited region of the Rocky Mountains. I figure the clear, cool air will clear my mind, ...or make me pass out from altitude sickness. Either way, I can forgot the last week.

Before I take off, here are my picks for Week 7. I limited my research and went with the old reliable "gut feeling." Of course, thinking with the gut got us involved in two wars and the worse financial crisis in over 80 years.

My picks are in bold.

Titans at Chiefs +7
Chargers at Bills PK
Steelers and Bengals +9.5
Ravens at Dolphins -2.5
Cowboys -7 at Rams
Vikings at Chicago -3
Saints +3 at Panthers
49ers +10.5 at Giants
Lions +8 at Houston
Jets -3 at Raiders
Browns at Redskins -7
Colts -1 at Packers
Seahawks +10.5 at Buccaneers
Broncos at Patriots -3.5

Last Week 6-8
Season 45-41-2

Picks I am really pretty sure will win
Dolphins -2.5 over Ravens
Colts -1 over Packers
Saints +3 over Panthers
Chiefs +7 over Titans

Last week 0-4
Season 10-12-2

Friday, October 10, 2008

Week 6- A Maverick Speaks

Weird thing happened this week. I got a call on Wednesday at 3:00am from John McCain.

That part was not so weird since he often calls me at all hours of the night. Usually we chat about old movies, reality TV and fun recipes that can be done under 30 minutes. But this night, he wanted to talk about football. I said, “You know John, I have a blog where I pick each week’s games.” After a twenty minute explanation on what a blog is, he asked if he could offer up his picks for this week.

Because he is my friend (and because in less than 4 weeks could have the IRS audit me), I happily obliged. Here are John McCain’s picks and explanations for Week 6. His picks are in bold.

Raiders at Saints -8
My friend, I am a maverick. I’ve been a maverick all my life. So I know maverickness and to be honest, Al Davis is a little too mavericky. He makes me looks like Mr. Rogers.

Ravens +4.5 at Colts
My friend, a strong defense is vital to national security and to a football team. The Ravens are all about defense- keep the other team from scoring. The Colts are all about offense. They have that “tax and spend and score” mentality that just leaves Americans with a huge electric bill for lighting up the scoreboard. I have been and always will be against lights!

Bengals at Jets -6
I don’t know if you know this, but I use to fly jets. And when I flew them, I flew like a maverick. You know who else is a maverick…Brett Favre. The way he improvises with the football makes me inclined to name him my chief economic advisor.

Panthers +2 at Bucs
Look my friend, the liberal media doesn’t understand Steve Smith. Who among us has wanted to punch out a teammate, Senate colleague or presidential rival? If you have watched any of the debates, I am a hair trigger away of cold cocking “That One.”

Lions +13.5 at Vikings
The Lions did the right thing. They changed leadership, while leaving intact the coaching staff, front office and players. That is exactly the kind of change I will bring to America.

Bears -2.5 at Falcons
My friend, there is nothing good that comes from Chicago. Baseball teams. 60s radicals. Senatorial lightweights. But since I am in hock for 50k to the Bellagio, I’ve got to go with the better team here just to get even.

Dolphins +3 at Texans
My friend, the choice is simple. Do you want the same old, experience, well informed, ready to lead from day one person to serve as Vice President? Or do you want someone who is unpredictable and performs way above low expectations. I’ll take the wildcat for both for my offensive schemes and my VP.

Rams +13.5 at Redskins
My friend, I am a Washington outsider. Even though I have lived and worked there for close to 30 years, I have always hated the Redskins and as president I promise to continue hating them...along with the city’s public transportation system and its cherry blossoms.

Jaguars at Broncos -3
This one is a tough choice for me. Both Colorado and Florida are swing states. But, my friend, being commander –in-chief is all about making tough decisions. Just like when I am at the craps table…do I bet the hard eight or the hard ten?

Eagles at 49ers +4.5
The California liberal elite would love for me to pick against their beloved team just so they can bash me for being biased. Well, my friend, I am going to do the exact opposite. Why you ask. Because that’s what mavericks do. We do what doesn’t really make sense just to mess with you.

Cowboys at Cardinals +5.5
I am from Arizona. More importantly, my wife loves the Cardinals. And if you think I am going go against my financier, ummm, I mean my love, you got another thing coming my friend.

Packers and Seahawks -2.5
The Packers went away from the experienced, proven, fly by the seat of his pants quarterback in favor of the good looking, young, wide eyed liberal quarterback. My friend, if elected president, I promise to be the steady hand that leads America’s economy to the brink of the Super Bowl…only to blow it with a late interception.

Patriots +5.5 at Chargers
My friend, I know what is takes to be a patriot. I see one every day...when I look in the mirror. And patriots don’t talk about timetables or exit strategies or leaving the West Coast when they have back to back games there. Just like these Patriots, I am committed to stay in Iraq until we win the game and I don’t care how many overtimes it goes.

Giants -8 at Browns
I want to send out my well wishes to Kellen Winslow of the Browns. I heard about his, well, …how do I put this delicately…”his balls growing to the size of grapefruits.” As a maverick, I know what it is like to have a pair that big. Imagine how huge mine have to be for me to pick Palin as VP. They have grown even larger since I have completely ignored the stock market crash and decided to focus on “that one” and his “associations.”

Last Week 8-5-1
Season 39-33-2

The picks John doesn’t know but I am really going to bet
Panthers/Bucs over 36.5
Panthers +2 over Buccaneers
Patriots +5.5 over the Chargers
49ers +4.5 over Eagles

Last Week 2-2-1
Season 10-8-2

Friday, October 3, 2008

Week 5- Apologies

Only a quarter through the NFL season and already the Catholic guilt ingrained inside of me is demanding I seek forgiveness for the things I have said and thought so far.

So forgive me father and Roger Goodell, but I have sinned.

Forgive me for making fun of Dan Snyder’s hiring of Jim Zorn. The Skins 3-1 record is really amazing given their terrible start against New York. If they make the Super Bowl, I’ll seek forgiveness for all the terrible free agent signings he's made.

Forgive me for questioning Joey Porter’s bravado. He talked the talk and he sacked the sacked. So much so that more than a week later, he is still collecting sacks from this game.

Forgive me for picking Seattle and Pittsburgh to go to the Super Bowl. Since I made my selection both teams have been decimated by injuries to the point that the Seahawks just activated Steve Largent and the Steelers just activated Rocky Bleier. Franco Harris wanted too much money.

Forgive me for picking the Rams every single week so far this season. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Burn me 4 times and I’m just an idiot. Having said that, I am still picking them this week to beat the bye….but taking the 14 points.

Forgive me for doubting Brian Griese. I should have discounted his previous terrible performances in Denver…and in Miami…and in Tampa Bay…and in Chicago. That was just a short 10-year blip on an otherwise stellar NFL career.

Also, forgive me for believing:

The Bengals would stop signing felons.
Peyton Manning did not need functioning knees.
The Pats were more than a one man team.
T.O. would be satisfied with getting the ball thrown to him 18 times in a game.
Aaron Rodgers could get through 4 games without being injured.
Al Davis was still lucid.
Matt Millen would be executive of the year.

Most importantly, after a mediocre week, forgive me in advance for my Week 5 picks. My picks are in bold.

Colts -3 at Texans

Titans -3 at Ravens

Chargers at Dolphins +6.5

Chiefs +9.5 at Panthers

Redskins +5.5 at Eagles

Bears -3.5 at Lions

Falcons+7.5 at Packers

Seahawks at Giants -7

Buccaneers at Broncos -3.5

Patriots -3 at 49ers

Bills at Cardinals PICK

Bengals at Cowboys -17

Steelers at Jaguars -4

Vikings at Saints -3.5

Last Week 7-6
Season 31-28-1

My "I'm really confident" Picks
Colts -3 over Texans
Patriots -3 over 49ers
Jaguars -4 over Steelers
Titans -3 over Ravens
Titans/Ravens over 33.5

Last Week 1-2
Season 8-6-1