Friday, January 22, 2010

Championship Weekend aka Hell Week

I am still licking my considerable wounds after last weekend 0-4 performance with my picks.

What make me sick is that I predicted the Chargers game...4 months ago! In my pre-season blog, I wrote they would blow a playoff game that should win.

So for this week's picks, I decide to listen to that younger, wiser version of myself.

Jets +8 at Colts

I checked in with myself from 4 months ago, and I throw up a little in my mouth when I told myself that the Jets were in the AFC Championship Game. When I informed myself that the Colts purposing tanked a game against the Jets just a few weeks earlier which allowed the Jets into the playoff, I completely, full out barfed.

I noted to myself that karma is a bitch and the Colts deserve what they have wrought. I agree and while it pains me to know end, I am finally picking the Jets.

(Secretly, I hope this will be the ultimate jinx pick)

Vikings at Saints -3.5

I read my preseason predictions and saw I predicted Brett Favre will make 15 unbelievably terrible “What the hell was he thinking” plays this season. He is way under the number of those crazy interceptions. I believe the natural law of Favre Physics will catch up on Sunday and besides, the Saints are such the better story.

Last week 0-4

Season 137-122-8

Friday, January 15, 2010

Division Weekend

After going a vanilla 2-2 picking games last week, I decided to do some research before picking this week’s games.

Did you know….

The Cardinals are 5-0 against the spread over the course of the last two playoffs?
The Colts average margin of victory this year in their last 8 wins was less than 6 points?
Did you know the Wall Street Journal analysis an average NFL game (2 hr 57 minutes) and discovered there was only 11 minutes total of live action?
Did you know no number one seed has won the Super Bowl in 6 years?

I was busy getting more did you know items until I came across this clip:

I can’t stop watching it! It’s hypnotic.

To hell with research. Here are my vanilla picks for this week. Guaranteed to go 2-2, I just don’t know which two will win.

Arizona +7 at Saints

Ravens +6.5 at Colts

Cowboys +3 at Vikings

Jets at Chargers -7

Last week 2-2

Season 137-118-8

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Wild Card Weekend

Jets v. Bengals
The Jets are that guy who just because his parents bought him a smoking hot Porsche, he thinks he’s earned being the shit. I’d like to point out to all the Jet’s Kool Aid drinkers (like the guy who wear a Wayne Chrebet jersey on a first date) that in the last three games they could only muster a touchdown against Atlanta and won two basically forfeited games.

As for the Bengals, I am going with the theory that they can’t look any worse than last Sunday night. This is a theory that often gets me in trouble at the roulette table when I say “There is no way red can come again after 13 straights.” By the way, YES IT CAN.

My Pick: Bengals -2.5

Eagles v. Cowboys
Last week, the Eagles went from having a first round bye to be the last seed in the conference. On the good side, this means more room service for Andy Reid. Okay, I get it; Andy Reid has problems with his weight. He and his team have also had a very tough time with the Cowboys this year.

All the smart people are suggesting that the Eagles really laid down a bit last week and remind everyone about the Cowboys playoff futility. Well, I have never been accused of being smart.

My pick: Cowboys -3.5

Ravens at Patriots
This just in: In addition to broken ribs and fingers, Tom Brady has the following other injuries:
ingrown toenail, back acne, dandruff, eye twitching, ear wax and a general case of the blahs. How can one man endure so much without anyone being allowed to touch him?

The Welker injuries really hurts the Pats, just no this weekend. Belchick will talk himself into going for it on several critical 4th downs and he’ll make everyone because the Ravens will jump offside.

My pick: Patriots -3.5

Packers at Cardinals
This is by far the toughest game to predict, which obviously means it will be a blowout. The Packers have looked great in the second part of the season. Their defense is strong and Aaron Rodgers has quietly done a fantastic job of replacing Brett Turncoat. Of course, last week the annihilated the Cardinals in a game the Cardinals obviously laid down on purpose. Plus, it looks like the Cardinals have injury issues. With all signs pointing to the Packers, the wise guy gamblers have jumped all over them. The moved this line from Cardinals favored by 3 to Packers favored by one.

But last year, everyone and their mother-in-law were counting out the Cardinals and all they did was come 2 minutes away from winning the Super Bowl. It’s too tough a call. I would only bet this game with the government’s money. But if I did have their money…

My pick Cardinals +1

Last Week 11-5

Season 135-116-5

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Week 17- What a Difference a Decade Makes

In January 2000, if I told you the following would happen in sports over the next 10 years, you would have thought I should go get my head check. And since at that time I did not have insurance, I would not have been able to.

The Patriots would be the NFL team of the decade. In 1999, they finished 8-8 and 4th in the division and just hired a failed head coach named Bill Belichick.

Pete Carroll would be the most successful head coach of the decade (in college). He was laughed out of New York and New England critics made fun of his rah-rah attitude. These same critics made fun when he was hired by USC. In hindsight, shouldn’t we have seen that he would have made a perfect college coach?

The Red Sox would win as many World Series in the decade as the Yankees. The fact that I would have predicted that they would win one World Series would have been sufficiently crazy.

Pete Rose would admit to betting on baseball. If you did NOT see this coming, you are blind.

More teams from Florida (1) would win the Stanley Cup than from Canada (0). A national outrage for our brothers to the north.

Boise State and Utah would each win more BCS Bowls than Notre Dame. Also, who would have guessed that Charlie Weiss could NOT walk on water?

Nine of the 20 league MVP named in the decade would have admitted or reported to have been used performance enhancing drugs. And attendance would continue to increase.

As the decade ends, the biggest ladies man in sports is not Derek Jeter or Kobe Bryant or Tom Brady, but Tiger Woods.

What will we be saying 10 years from now as we reflect on the “teens?”

Here are some stabs in the dark:

The NFL team of the decade will be the…Green Bay Packers. After the Brett Favre fiasco, they are due some karma. Plus they have a really, really good QB.

The Kansas City Royals will make the playoffs at least once. This falls into my “even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile” file. You can’t be bad that long without stumbling into one year of greatness.

Josh Hamilton will end up in rehab. He will share a room will re-lapsing Robert Downey Jr.

Greg Anderson, former trainer of Barry Bonds, will end up writing a tell-all book about Bonds. He will do this because at some point Bonds is going to get cheap or rude or both with Greg and piss him off enough to through him under the bus. Just call it Bonds Being Bonds.

Already dominating the national sports scene, ESPN will completely over take local sports coverage. The days of you independent local sports talk radio will be over. It will all be either a national program or local program run by the worldwide leader. Get ready for ESPN-Tulsa.

The NFL is going to do something very, very stupid. They have been too smug as top dog for too long. Burning evidence. Crushing competition. Snubbing the very place that makes them a popular as they are (Vegas). It will probably be a lockout in 2011, but do not rule out a huge PEDs scandal.

The early part of the decade will be marked by more and more lurid scandals becoming public involving very famous athletes. You can thank TMZ new sports division for this.

Speaking of PEDs, I have a feeling scandals will erupt in other sports such as basketball, hockey, soccer and golf. Yes, golf. And you know who better start sweating it.

As for golf, two bold predictions: A woman will become a regular player on the PGA Tour and by the end of the decade, the world’s greatest golfer will be from Asia (not half Asian as is currently).

The early part of the decade will be a little tough for the NBA because of finances, but by the end of the decade, people will ask if it is a real rival to the NFL in popularity.

And here are my very safe best for the next decade:

The US will not win the World Cup
The Jacksonville Jaguars will move (probably to LA)
Tiger will break Jack’s record
Jerry Jones will have cosmetic surgery again
People will bitch about the Yankees spending too much money
The Twins will be cheap and let Joe Mauer go
The Lakers will keep winning; the Clippers will keep losing
All our sports (except football) will see a continuing rise in players from overseas.
And the Miami Dolphins will win a Super Bowl! (more of a prayer than a prediction)

As for the predictions for this week’s game, it is a real crapshoot. With no one knowing for sure which team will play and which one are going to fold, I suggest you bet these games with our people’s money.

Colts at Bills -7.5
Saints at Panthers -7
Jaguars at Browns -1
Eagles at Cowboys -3
Bears -3 at Lions
Patriots +7.5 at Texans
Steelers -3 at Dolphins
Giants +9 at Vikings
Bengals +10 at Jets
49ers -7 at Rams
Falcons -2 at Bucs
Packers at Cardinals -3
Chiefs +12.5 at Broncos
Ravens at Raiders +10.5
Redskins at Chargers -4
Titans -4.5 at Seahawks

Last Week 6-10

Season 124-111-5