Week 8- Location, Location, Location

They say the three most important things about real estate is location, location and location. The same goes for football, except it is for location of the game, location of the nearest HGH distributor and location of the nearest strip club to the team hotel.

This week in the NFL, location is the top story. We have a game being played in London. We have a game that, at this moment, we have no idea where it is going to be played. And we have no games being played in Oakland or Philadelphia, giving those hard working police departments a well-earned break.

They say home field means a lot to a team. Vegas sports books usually give 3 points to the home team when setting a line. I say “Phooey!” (I often said “Phooey” because I like the sound it makes and because it keeps people from talking to me.) The home teams this year are only covering at a 48% clip. That’s basically a coin flip. So home cookin’ is not better than the breakfast buffet at Cracker Barrel

I think it’d be more fun if the games were held not in the traditional home stadiums, but in locations that will add an extra element of excitement . We fans are tired of the same old, same old. Green Bay is cold in the winter. Miami is hot in the summer. Seattle has loud fans. Atlanta has no fans. We get it. It would be more interesting to have the teams play in a location that better exemplifies the match-up. May not be fun for the players, heck it might even be dangerous, but when as a league or as fans have we ever cared about the well-being of players? (see the players who played before the 1980s)

So this week, along with my picks, I am going to share where I think the games should really be played.

Last week I went 7-7 and 2-2 on my star picks. Overall I am 46-49-7 and 9-13-2 . My picks are in bold. The star indicates I feel so strong about this pick they could play the game in Miami and I would still pick the same way. Oh, they do play football in Miami? Not this year.

Cleveland –3 at St. Louis- Greenland. Most people think Iceland is the more remote location but it is really Greenland, and remote fits the bill for this game.

*Detroit and Chicago –5 –Hockey Rink. These are two great hockey cities so why not letthe fans enjoy the best of both. Bet Devin Hester still scores a TD…and a hat trick.

*Indianapolis –7 at Carolina – Palm Beach, Florida – With Vinnie starting, what better location than the retirement capital of the US for this game so he can play into front of his neighbors and fellow mah jong players.

NY Giants –9.5 at Miami – Scotland - Not because of my affinity for kilts. But because there would be so many fights in the stands, maybe my Fins would learn a lesson or two about toughness.

Oakland +7.5 at Tennessee – San Quentin Prison - This gives the inmates the opportunity to see what their lives could have been like, and for the Raiders to see what their lives WILL be like.

Philadelphia –1 at Minnesota- Outdoors – I think moving their football games indoors has made Minnesotans soft. I hear Bud Grant is embarrassed to be seen in the city and Fran Tarkenton won’t even be a shill for any companies there.

*Pittsburgh –3.5 at Cincinnati – Cleveland – It’d be just as fascinating to watch the fans as the game. I believe after three straight hours of booing everything that happens on the field, they would all spontaneously combust.

Buffalo +3 at NY Jets – Iran- once the mullahs get a load of the group of Bills and Jets fans that travel over there for the game, they’ll realize we are just crazy enough to attack them and they’ll give up the nukes..and their wallets.

Houston +9.5 at San Diego – San Diego - Okay I have a heart and the people of San Diego need some distraction.

*Jacksonville at Tampa Bay –4 – Lambeau Field…in January- the frozen tundra would be the perfect weather for these two, sun-baked team. It could be settled by a contest of musical hot seats.

New Orleans –3 at San Francisco – Lancaster County, PA- How appropriate for two of the meccas of alternative lifestyles to play in the heart of Amish country.

Washington +16.5 at New England – atop Mt Everest – the lack of oxygen at this height might slow down the Patriot offense…might.

Green Bay at Denver –3 – Sahara Desert – everyone talks about how tough it is to play in the frigid weather, well let’s see how tough these cold weather teams are while playing in 130 degree heat. Oh, and make sure you have the sand storm to your back for the fourth quarter.