Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Week 13- Thursday Night Special

The NFL is killing me with these Thursday games. How can I be expected to apply my patented 451-point system for picking winners in only half a week’s time? Damn it, I have a day job!

The only good thing is that it won’t interfere with my Thursday TV viewing habits, because I CAN’T WATCH IT! Time Warner Cable, in their infinite and infantile wisdom, has decided that we don’t need the NFL Network, but we DO need 17 channels on home improvement, cooking, and how the Mayans were really a brilliant civilization. You know how much crap I give about that? Zero! (Okay Mayans, thanks for that one.)

I want to see grotesquely large men slam into each other at high rates of speed while carrying an inflated piece of animal hide. Why is that so hard to understand?

Well, I guess I’ll just have to pick this game using only 5 of my 451 points.

1. The forecast is for rain and Baltimore has the look of a team that likes to play in the mud.
2. Cincinnati will be looking past this game to their easy victory next week against the Raiders.
3. I have it from a inside source that Chad Johnson is a HUGE, John Stamos fan and it will be hard for him to stay focused knowing he is missing “ER”. (Yeah, Stamos is on ER, who knew?)
4. It will be “Parole Officer Appreciation” night at Paul Brown Stadium and too many Bengal players will be, shall we say, a little nervous.
5. Baltimore is the better team.

Therefore, my dead solid, lock pick is
Baltimore +3 at Cincinnati
Bonus Pick: Take under 43

1 comment:

Gary Coleman said...

tv will rot your brain! Your're better off with a book or transistor radio