Friday, December 26, 2008

Week 17- Dear, Dear Dolphins

Dear Miami Dolphins,

We’ve been going together for as long as I can remember. We’ve had our ups. 17-0 season. A.J. Duhe mud-drenched INT for a TD against the Jets. The Marino Era. And we’ve had our downs. Super Bowls 17 & 19 and the entire past 6 years.

After last season’s 1-15, we had a huge fight. Said things to each other that neither of us can ever take back, then went our separate ways. I agreed to get back with you this September, but on a strictly casual basis. I had no expectations from you. I figure we’ll get together each Sunday, maybe one thing would lead to another and you might actually win 2-3 games. We’d have some laughs, joke about how bad our defense was without Jason Taylor, and kid that we can’t complete a pass for more than 5 yards. Since I expected nothing, I figured I couldn’t get emotionally invested. It was a safe relationship. The safest I’ve ever had with you. I was so looking forward to our new “fans with benefits” status.

All that has changed. It started when you beat the Pats. For the first time in years, my heart beat a little bit faster when I thought of you. Your name was mentioned on ESPN more often. I would surf the internet to get more info about you. Then you go and win 8 of the last 9 games. It’s like you are a completely different team than I have ever known. Your helmets sparkle brighter. Your run plays are more attractive. When the other team has the ball, I don’t throw up waiting for the impending long TD pass.

It’s so hard for me to say these things after all you have done to me, but, Miami Dolphins, I have fallen for you again. Damn you. Damn you. You’ve made me care again. Where once there was a dried up bit of coal now beats a heart full of hope and fanaticism.

I know how this might end, in the cruelest of fashions as you break my heart at a cold, windy, cesspool of a place called the Meadowlands. You’ve done it to me so many times before. While my head says you’ll do it again, the aqua and orange blood racing through my veins says to give you one more chance. That this time you will NOT leave me curled up in the fetal position as I chant in a catatonic state “Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest football team...” until paramedics are called to remove me for mine and my neighbors own good.

No this time will be different. Because you love us Dol-Fans. You really love us.


Co-dependently yours,

The Mascot

As if I really care about any of the other games, here are my picks for Week 17.

Raiders at Bucs -13
Lions at Packers -9.5
Cowboys +1
at Eagles
Giants at Vikings -6.5
Bears +2.5
at Texans
Panthers at Saints +3
Rams +14
at Falcons
Chiefs at Bengals -3
Jaguars +12
at Ravens
Titans -3 at Colts
Browns at Steelers -10.5
Dolphins +2.5
at Jets
Patriots -6.5 at Bills
Seahawks at Cardinals -6
Redskins at 49ers -3
Denver +8
at Chargers

Last Week 7-9
Season 119-113-7

Real Picks
Steelers -11 over Browns
Pats/Bills Under 42.5
Bucs -13 over Raiders

Last week 2-3
Season 28-26-4

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