Saturday, December 4, 2010

Week 13- Getting Ready for the Apocalypse!

This week, the NFLPA took the prudent step of scaring the crap out of its members by telling them to prepare for an owner lockout next year. The owners already have a plan and it’s called “being stinkin’ rich.”

But what about us poor slobs aka “the fans.” How do we prepare for the worst case scenario?

As a public service to all NFL fans, below are the top ten most helpful tips on how to prepare. This will only make life without football barely functional. Quite frankly, there is no advice that can make Sundays without pro football bearable or even tolerable.

10. DVR the rest of the games this season and then next season invite friends over on Sundays to watch the replays.

9. Subscribe to the NHL Network and start boning up on your hockey knowledge.

8. Sneak into your crazy aunt’s house and start stealing her anti-depressant meds.

7. Move out of a house and into an apartment because free Sundays equals fix things around the house time.

6. If no football means at return to church, convert to a religion with the shortest services and the most free alcohol (a Paid Advertisement from the Roman Catholic Church).

5. Learn about websites your can surf other than Pro Football Talk and Yahoo Fantasy Sports.

4. Offer your house as a place to stay to one of your favorite locked out players. If their money management is anything like the rest of Americans, they will be broke and homeless within 2 months.

3. Create a fantasy football team…for the Lingerie Football League.

2. Move to Canada and start following Canadian Football. (It comes with free health care.)

1. After this year’s Super Bowl, keep drinking so you never sober up. Being continually drunk might be the only effective way to handle this!

Here are my picks for the week. Once again, I am picking the losing side with is in bold

Bills +5.5 at Vikings
Browns +5 at Dolphins
Jaguars at Titans -3
Broncos +8.5 at Chiefs
Redskins +7 at Giants
Bears at Lions +5.5
49ers at Packers -9.5
Saints -6.5 at Bengals
Falcons -3 at Bucs
Raiders +13 at Chargers
Panthers at Seahawks -5
Dallas +5.5 at Colts
Rams -3.5 at Cardinals
Steelers at Ravens -3
Jets +3.5 at Patriots

Thursday 0-1
Last Week 8-8
Year 96-79-4

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