Wednesday, April 30, 2008

New "90210" looking to cast Parcells

The head of football operations for the Miami Dolphins, and prepubescent teenage girl, Bill Parcells gave his one and only pro bowl player, Jason Taylor, the "I'm not talking to you and you know why" treatment a few weeks ago.

Obviously jealous that Jason would rather hang out with new BFFs Tom Bergeron and Bruno Toniolli, Bill refused to talk to him when he visited Dolphins camp. Taylor was hoping to impress on his teammates how the erotic hip movements of the samba will hypnotize offensive tackles and get him 20 sacks next season.

When word of Parcells junior high antics reached the new producers of "90210," they shrieked in delight. "That is just the kind of bitchy personality we need on the set to fill the Shannon Dougherty role," said a highly caffeinated executive.

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