Saturday, November 13, 2010

Week 10- Coming Attractions

For each game this week, the NFL has requested that we come up with the one line preview that pops up on TV screens when you hit INFO on your remote.

Actually they didn’t technically ask me, but they also did not say not to do it so I take that as being as good as a request. As you can imagine, this kind of logic has gotten me in quite a bit of hot water in several US states and territories.

Just like for TV shows and movies, I’ve made these recaps more entertaining than the actual games will be.

My picks for the losing team is in bold.

Bengals +7 at Colts
Two former partners (Palmer and Ochocinco) find a way to rekindle their romance despite the fact the QB WONT THROW HIM THE DAMN BALL!

Texans +1.5 at Jaguars
It’s a fight against time as the stadium scoreboard operator tries to find enough bulbs to light up triple digits for each team’s score.

Titans at Dolphins +1.5
A washed up former QB is forced out of retirement by a desperate coach to save the team…and his job.

Vikings -1 at Bears
Remake of classic “Mutiny on the Bounty.” The crew of the SS Vikings throw their captain overboard and they live in exile lead by Fletcher Christian (Favre)

Lions at Bills -2.5
Stranded in a lifeless ice world, the Bills are forced into a fierce battle to preserve a last shred of dignity or else continue toward a winless season.

Jets -3 at Browns
By calling all out blitzes and setting bounties on kickers, two brothers battle for the love and respect of their crazed father.

Panthers at Bucs -7
A plucky band of Buccaneers rally together and play their hearts out in a desperate attempt to get the local townsfolk to notice them.

Chiefs at Broncos +1
Despite making a long series of idiotic mistakes, a bumbling head coach leads his team to one more chance not to embarrass itself.

Rams +6 at 49ers
A down on his luck head coach (Singletary) spends a Sunday afternoon pining after a quality young QB (Bradford).

Seahawks +3.5 at Cardinals
No one is safe as these two horrific teams combine to set the quality of professional football back 40 years.

Cowboys +14 at Giants
A group of overpaid, underachieving Cowboys band together to prove once and for all they are overpaid and underachieving

Patriots +4.5 at Steelers
House (Belichick) and Foreman (Tomlin) clash over the best way to remove a patient’s head from his ass. (Roethlisberger)

Eagles -3 at Redskins
The noble prince Donovan tries to break free from the dungeon he has been exiled to by the evil king Shanahan.

Thursday 1-0
Last Week 6-7
Year 69-58-4

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