Week 9 - Motivation

During halftime of the Seahawks beating up the 49ers, San Fran coach Mike Singletary dropped his pants to illustrate his contempt toward his team and its performance. He hoped the sight of his bare buttocks would motivate his team to play better. It didn’t work.

But just like 99 cent greeting cards and gas gift cards, it is the thought that counts.

Now Singletary’s motivational attempts might have worked for a college team or high school team or the US Men’s Olympic figure skating team, but in the NFL you need something different.

Here are some other techniques coaches should employ to really get at these highly paid, low performing pros to play better:

Threaten to invite players’ wives to all road games and team events.

Show the team an un-doctored image of Jerry Jones, post facelift.

If the team doesn’t play better, force them to ride to the next away game in John Madden’s bus.

Ban player interviews with Erin Andrews.

Say if they don’t starting tackling people, you are inviting Sarah Palin to speak to the team about foreign policy.

If they don’t start blocking, you will force them to go bowling with Barack Obama.

Warn the players you will release them and get them hired doing analysis on ESPN with Emmitt Smith.

Threaten to trade them to Oakland.

And the most motivating thing you can do…threaten to take away the Madden ’08 from the locker room.

I’ve tried to employ some motivating technique on myself to get me out of my own losing streak. If it doesn’t work, I will have no other option but to drop my pants in the middle of the sports book.

My picks in bold.

Texans at Vikings -5
Jaguars at Bengals +7.5
Bucs at Chiefs +8.5
Ravens +2 at Browns
Jets at Bills -5
Cardinals -3 at Rams
Lions + 12.5 at Bears
Packers at Titans -4.5
Dolphins at Broncos -3.5
Falcons -2.5 at Raiders
Cowboys +8 at Giants
Eagles at Seahawks +6.5
Patriots +6 at Colts
Steelers +2 at Redskins

Last Week 5-7-2
Season 55-57-4

Picks I am really putting my butt on the line for:
Bills -5 over Jets
Steelers +2 over Redskins
Ravens/Browns over 36.5
Dolphins/Broncos under 50

Last week 1-2-1
Season 11-18-3