Week 11- Why read stories when you have Headlines

I am like most American in that I have a very busy schedule. As I spend my dedicated 12 hours per day web surfing, I do not have time to read the actual article. I just scan the headline. I am sure I get all the in-depth coverage I need from those bold font titles.

So for this week’s game, forget about watching the game. My predicted post game headlines tell you everything you need to know.

My picks for the losing side are in bold. I might listen to me if I were me, since I went 11-3 last week.

Al Davis awakens to find Raiders in first place, believe he is living in 1977.
Raiders +7.5 at Steelers

Texans fall behind early. Comeback halted by [insert interception, fumble, bear eating team]
Texans at Jets -6.5

Coach Fox gets ice cream vendor to QB for 4th quarter
Ravens -11 at Panthers

Redskins improve from “embarrassment” to “just getting beat.”
Redskins +7 at Titans

Tony Who? Kitna stakes claim to be the future of Cowboys, says inebriated Jones.
Lions at Cowboys -6

Favre blames sore tonsils for 5 interception game
Packers -3 at Vikings

Bills forfeit game. Figure last week’s win was only one they were getting for the year.
Bills at Bengals -5

Jaguars blame Josh McDaniels for loss- “What kind of idiots trade Peyton Hillis?”
Browns +2 at Jaguars

Todd Haley refuses to shake Wisenhunt’s hand. Claims Cardinals should have armed tackled instead of wrapping up.
Cardinals +8 at Chiefs

Since he gave up Heisman, Bush ask Carroll to give up bonuses earned during 2005 season
Seahawks +11.5 at Saints

Rams play “California Dreamin’” after every touchdown. Is this a subtle hint?
Falcons -3 at Rams

Singletary finally get around to blaming God for loses
Bucs +3.5 at 49ers

Manning wins despite having cast of “Big World, Little People” as his receiving corp.
Colts +4 at Patriots

Vick morphs into his Madden Avatar. Gets sucked into the world of Tron.
Giants at Eagles -3.5

Babies demand River stop pouting. Says give them a bad name.
Broncos +9.5 at Chargers


Thursday 1-0
Last Week 11-3
Year 80-61-4