Friday, December 18, 2009

Week 15- You might need help

As a public service to our readers, here are some signs you are a degenerative gambler.

If one or more of these items pertain to you, we suggest you seek immediate help from a licensed professional or take out a second mortgage on your home to cover your losses.

You picked against Peyton Manning on a night game (see my pick from yesterday.)

You find out the point guard for the WNBA’s LA Sparks has a bum knee so you bet against them. You degenerative not because you are using this info, but because you are BETTING ON THE WNBA!

You refuse to bet anything less than a five team parlay because you just it’s just not worth it unless you are making 25 to 1 on your money.

You have said the following this year- “There is no way the Rams can be that bad. I’m taking the points!” (see my picks below.)

You have used the rational – “Yes, but if I bet my rent payment and I win, then I don’t have to pay rent for 2 months!”

You have the following exchange with your landlord:
You: (sniffling) “I am sorry. I had the rent, but I spent the money for my dear mother’s funeral.”
Landlord: “I though she died right after the Patriots/Colts game?”
You: “That was my other mother.”

You base your wagers on anything said by anybody on Fox Sports.

You refuse to tip the pregnant cocktail waitress who has already served 5 complimentary Bud Lights because you are saving your dollar bills for keno.

The fact you actually play keno.

The list of bets you need to make this weekend is longer than your family’s grocery list.

You have ever Googled “blood banks near casinos.”

You have ever bought a book on “strategy” for roulette, craps and penny slots.

And finally....
You ignore my picks below even though I have winning better than 67% over the past two weeks.

Here are my picks for Week 15 (in bold.)

Cowboys at Saints -7
Packers +2 at Steelers
Dolphins +3 at Titans
Patriots at Bills +7
Cardinals -12 at Lions
49ers +8.5 at Eagles
Falcons +5 at Jets
Bears +10.5 at Ravens
Browns at Chiefs -2
Texans at Rams +11.5
Bengals at Chargers -6.5
Raiders at Broncos -12.5
Bucs at Seahawks -6.5
Vikings -8.5 at Panthers
Giants -3 at Redskins

Thursday 0-1

Last Week 11-5

Season 113-92-4

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